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September 24, 2025 Posted In Estate Planning
by Colorado Estate Matters
Most of us are at least a little bit apprehensive talking about our deaths or situations that leave us incapacitated. Similarly, our loved ones may not want to have those conversations either. Suppose you have already begun the estate planning process with a Denver estate planning lawyer. In that case, they may provide you with some guidance on how to address these topics with your loved ones based on your specific situation. Otherwise, our team at Colorado Estate Matters has some options you may consider.
Our mortality is an emotional topic for most people, whether discussing your death or the death of a loved one. Many people find it helpful to approach these conversations with a focus on taking care of the family in the future. By framing it as an act of love instead of an act of loss, you can support your family in focusing on the conversation’s goal instead of the feelings of the event.
Understanding how to bring up conversations about estate planning can feel overwhelming. You don’t want to upset others or turn them off to the idea of protecting the future. By following our recommendations below, you can avoid some of the common mistakes people make in the estate planning process that may make these conversations more challenging.
It can be tempting to go ahead and talk through your estate plan with family members before you sit down with a professional to discuss it. You obviously don’t want to do something like name a guardian for your child without talking to the person about it first. Still, beyond general consultation with the big decisions, it may be best to understand the law and what you want to do before bringing multiple parties into it.
Another way to prompt the conversation is to explain the importance of understanding your estate plan, including what could happen without it. Without an estate plan, the state considers your death intestate and all assets are divided in accordance with Colorado Revised Statutes Article 11. In other words, what happens to your property is up to the state, beyond your control or that of your loved ones.
When and where you talk with your family about estate planning can have a significant impact on how the conversation goes. The University of Colorado Boulder suggests planning a time when you know you can have privacy in a comfortable space and avoid unnecessary chaos. For example, you may not want to call your son while he’s trying to make dinner with kids running around in the background.
Some family members may prefer to talk about hard things over text or writing, while others want a face-to-face conversation. Additionally, some of your family may cope well with humor and jokes about kicking the bucket, while others may prefer a more clinical and distanced feel to the conversation.
You may also consider speaking to your family individually about specific allocations instead of holding a large family meeting. Adjusting your communication mode and style can significantly improve the outcome of difficult conversations.
Beginning the conversation with where you are allocating sentimental items or more valuable assets may cause stronger emotions. It can make it challenging to stay on track later in the conversation. To prevent this, you may start with the smaller financial pieces or matter-of-fact components, like where crucial information can be found or the contact information for the attorney who helped you create the plan.
These conversations require patience and understanding, whether you are discussing them with an adult child who you will name as a trust administrator or with a family member who will not receive what they expect. Clear communication early on in the process will help prevent ugly surprises and additional confrontations while the family is in the throes of grief.
Discussing estate planning with your family can be challenging, requiring ongoing efforts to confirm plans, share feelings, or resolve conflicts. It is essential to know that the decisions about your estate are yours alone. You can guide the conversation by focusing on your primary concerns and goals regarding an estate plan.
Working with a Denver estate planning lawyer from Colorado Estate Matters is critical to an efficient estate plan. Creating a plan and communicating it clearly can minimize unnecessary conflict and provide a clear structure for your family to follow during a difficult time, allowing you to continue caring for your family even after your death. Contact us through our online form or by calling (303) 713-9147 to arrange a consultation today.